Christians are straight up FREAKS
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sorry my hands just texted you
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
