Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
