If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
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