got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
