Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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