Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
