Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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