So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
