Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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