you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
