we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
