some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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