Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
