I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
