so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
