I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
