I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize