actually, I'm a sock model
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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