She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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