You made me cry and you don't even care
how can u be prego again
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
