My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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