My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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