These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
