this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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