happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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