Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
