We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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