Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
