I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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