Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
