had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
