You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
