I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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