one two three fourrrrnication!
Buhtt sex?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
