these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
