Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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