i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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