Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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