so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
