just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
