Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
