i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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