Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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