I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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