There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
