i just made my gag reflex go away.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
