he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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