i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I will pee on everything he values.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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