So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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