i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The air was thick with penises
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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