you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
