Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
