So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
