sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
