I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
