lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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