They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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