Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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