i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
