he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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