Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
