yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
