Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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