When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if only i could text you this smell
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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