I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Bring me that man meat
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
