theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
