Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
the liver wants what the liver wants
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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