Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
