he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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